Personal Finance

Shh…don’t tell the husband

A few months ago, my husband told me about a man who was asked on live TV how much he spent to go to Superbowl 50. The man responded with some crazy amount like $25K, but ended the interview by saying “Don’t tell my wife! She doesn’t know I spent that much.” I told my husband that there was no way he could spend all that money without his significant other wondering where the money went. My husband commented, “You could use all our savings on jewelry and I wouldn’t know.” I thought about it for a minute and realized he was right. He is vaguely aware of money coming in, although I don’t think he know how much money I make since it goes into a separate checking account than the main one we use. He definitely is clueless about money going out. I try to have budget conversations with him, but they go a little something like this:

Me: I think we need to contribute more of your paycheck to retirement.
Him: Sure, let’s do that.
Me: It will help with taxes and I don’t think we are investing enough.
Him: Okay. How about them Cubs?

So, have I told him about my plan to pay off our mortgage in 5 years? Nope! Do I plan on it? Not really. Will he notice or realize that it’s happening? As long as it doesn’t affect his current spending habits, probably not. His birthday is in December. Wouldn’t that be an amazing gift? Forget jewelry! If someone said to you, “Your birthday gift is the title to the house!” wouldn’t that be amazing?!

The only question is if I can do this without him on board. Since my paychecks are earmarked random expenses, it doesn’t really affect our monthly budget if we send it all to the mortgage. However, the extra $770 we need to find each month is very ambitious and definitely a stretch goal.

How do finances work in your household? Do you think I’m crazy for trying to pull this off without telling the husband?

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10 thoughts on “Shh…don’t tell the husband

  1. I think it’s a pretty amazing goal, and if it works nicely done. It certainly can’t hurt to try. My ex-husband was pretty clueless about our finances as well, so I think it’s pretty normal. I love you set your goals high 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That would be an awesome gift! Your household sounds similar to mine. We have separate accounts so we’re vaguely aware of what the other is doing financially. We had split the bills originally and have stuck to this model. ML pays for most of the housing costs and I pay for lifestyle stuff (internet, Netflix, groceries, vacation).
    It works for us 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As long as it works for you, go for it! I found that not having good communication around our money in/money out was one of the nails in my former marriage’s coffin, but that’s because it was still a contentious topic, just in a passive-aggressive way. If it isn’t going to become a problem where he thinks that money should be available for some other thing he hasn’t mentioned … then go for it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great plan! it would indeed be a super gift. The success seems to depend on the 770 extra per month. Maybe he has some ideas on hos to gat there?

    In our household, it is me that is the CFO. I propose and follow up the budget and FIRE planning. I discuss al major subjects with my wife. She is informed in what we invest, what the plan is,… The actual implementation is my job.

    about a year ago, I suggested to limit our personal fun money to a certain monthly amount, and it got accepted. I meant more automation, more investing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It took a while for me to convince my husband to contribute more to retirement. First he was only contributing 7% , now he is contributing almost 48%! It took a lot of talks, spreadsheets, patience to get there but we did. I hope you are able to achieve your goal and I hope your husband will appreciate the hard work you put in for planning for your family.

    Liked by 1 person

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