Personal Finance

Home Sour Home

I saw this image posted on Instagram the other day and it has really resonated with me. As I think about future financial goals, I find myself dreaming about of all the things I could purchase. If I am financially savvy and put my mind to it, I could pay off my mortgage in 7-10 years, max out our retirement funds or fully fund my children’s college funds. Or I could do what I REALLY want do and buy a new house!

One of my constant mental struggles is our home which I often view as my biggest financial mistake. If I could change any past decision, I would be the purchasing of our current place of residence. I wish we had spent longer looking for a home. I wish we didn’t buy this house right before the housing market crashed. I wish we did not financed it 100% but instead saved to put some money down. We did none of these things: we brought the one of the only four we looked at and paid for it with a 30 year, interest-only for the first 5 years mortgage and a second home equity line of credit. Our loans were really horrible. (So bad that we actually received an unsolicited $600 settlement last year from a class action lawsuit against company that processed our loan!)

Part of me believes that we have outgrown what should have been our starter home. Moving really isn’t an option because we do not have enough equity in our home even after 10 years of living here. From real estate agents and costs to bring the house to market, it just doesn’t make financial sense. So where does that leave us? In the space of trying to be content with our small home. I want to be happy with our home, but the thought of living here for the rest of my life makes me sad. I struggle daily with knowing I should be happy that I have something that many people around the world dream of. I truly want to not want a new house, but I am not there yet. How do I get there?



7 thoughts on “Home Sour Home

  1. While I don’t know about your family size/situation, what I feel I would do in your situation is this: sell the house and pay off the difference if you take a loss, move into a more affordable rental, and start over from square one, saving money for a down payment or an even better 100% down payment. 🙂 Obviously, this is extremely overly simplified…but some variation of that scenario is where I’d be looking if you don’t see yourselves finding contentment in your current situation. How’s that sound? Lemme know what you think 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think if I was in my 20s or early 30s and without kids I might do exactly that. However as I am approaching 40, I feel like it would be too much to put my kids through as well as taking too many steps back. There’s got to be something I can do to love it again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you on the age thing – as we get closer to 40, it seems like there’s simply less and less time to accomplish financial (or life) goals. We have been renting a small-ish home after selling our larger house, and our monthly mortgage went from $1452 to $800 rent per month – but we were only able to do that because we were able to get a reasonable offer on the house when we sold! (We also didn’t buy at the same time you did, so timing was FOR us, but I really felt like we had dodged a bullet, as it could have gone so much worse.) We definitely suffered some buyer’s remorse on that house after our monthly payment jumped from $1300, too – apparently there wasn’t enough in the escrow???

      Anyway, my point is that we’re now in a much smaller place and I constantly find myself dreaming about our old house and how beautiful it looked when we decorated for Christmas, how much natural light it got, how big our bedroom was, our great closets, on and on and on… It’s not healthy, so I try not to indulge in that. What’s even worse is that sometimes I dream about all of the things I would do if I custom-built a home (that we, ahem, cannot afford right now).

      In our case, I embraced the KonMari system for a while there (though I have not finished the process) and that really did help me like our place more, as it’s a lot less cluttered now overall and it is satisfying that lots of things have places (instead of just being everywhere haphazardly!). I also like knowing that we are living with less STUFF in the house, and that makes it nicer. (I won’t lie, knowing that we are paying less for housing helps a lot, too, which I know isn’t exactly helpful in your case.)

      I know nothing I wrote is especially helpful, but I do feel your pain of being in a smaller home and trying hard to be appreciative for what you have. Let me know if you figure it out. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a great idea. I really haven’t done much to try to love our home more. Maybe decluttering could make us feel like there is more room! I am definitely going to try to do that! Thanks.

        Ouch on the mortgage increase! I find myself randomly driving around neighborhoods I like looking for sale signs! lol. Probably not healthiest of behavior!


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